


Altered States

by Kahori_Katsushika



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Kuro asks frantically as he runs around making a big mess of a pretty cool situation, M/M, Vampire!Mahiru, how is everyone so chill about this?????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:14:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23871445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kahori_Katsushika/pseuds/Kahori_Katsushika
Summary: What's the fall out to an altered state of being? Do we cease to be ourselves and lose all that makes living precious? Or can we fill the cracking mortar of life and pull meaning from our temporary demise?
Relationships: Kuro | Sleepy Ash/Shirota Mahiru
Comments: 8
Kudos: 79





	Altered States

((Here's a [link](https://hisakata-resutomoshibi.tumblr.com/post/616314214716456960/as-promised-pandaxusio-thesilenceislost) to the comic this takes place after if you're interested~))

The eighth time Kuro flinched when Mahiru looked at him, he snapped.

"What's your problem?!"

Kuro peered at him over the top of his manga, looking for all the world, guilty. "Nothing."

"What a load of bullshit!" Mahiru exclaimed, throwing the dish rag back into the sink. "Every time you look at me you cringe like someone's kicked you!"

Laying his head down on the table, Kuro closed his eyes and sighed gustily. "No, I don't."

"Yes, you _do_!" Mahiru stomped over to where he sat and slammed a hand on the table. "And I'm sick of it!" 

The force of the gesture bounced Kuro's forehead against the rough grain surface and he grimaced, gingerly touching the red spot that had formed. Mahiru frowned and tucked his hands behind his back.

"Sorry."

"S'ok." Kuro mumbled, hunching back over as he looked everywhere around the dark kitchen but at Mahiru. "It's to be expected."

"Is it?" He asked, surprised. Behind him the clock ticked over the new hour, three AM, and the coffee pot beeped on.

"Of course." Kuro muttered sourly. "What do you expect when your strength is suddenly a hundred times what it was?"

Mahiru crossed his arms, thinking as he tapped a finger against his inner forearm. "I dunno. I guess I figured I'd just kind of.... get it?" He laughed and shrugged, pulling out a chair and sitting facing Kuro's tense form. "So is there something I should be doing? To learn better?"

Kuro finally glanced at him, his eyes wide in what looked like disgust. "How can you be so nonchalant about this?" He demanded, lips twisting in a way that had Mahiru feeling rather sick to his stomach.

"What do you mean? There's nothing to do but get used to it, right?"

Suddenly, Kuro jumped up, his chair screeching back as he stepped away from the table. "Mahiru." He spit harshly. "You're _dead_."

Mahiru watched him calmly, arms resting on the table in front of him. From the corner of his eye he noticed he'd forgotten to switch the brew strength to strong. "Not really." He said casually. "I'm still sitting here, talking and doing the dishes."

Kuro crept farther away, shaking his head softly from side to side. "No. It's not the same." As he reached the threshhold of the kitchen, he actually tripped, his heel catching on the jut of the carpeting and he stumbled. His arm shot out, bracing against the archway and he clenched his teeth so hard, Mahiru heard it from across the room. "You'll see." With those dubious words, he slipped around the corner and melted into the blanketed shadows of the living room.

Unsure whether Kuro had turned into his swifter cat form, or had just bolted down the hall, Mahiru stood slowly, pacing over to the coffee pot and punching the brew button. The little green light immediately flipped to red and he sighed.

* * *

"What's wrong with you two?" Misono asked, waving his finger idly over several different chess pieces as he decided which to move.

"What do you mean?" Mahiru asked nervously, his eyes tracking the movement of Misono's finger, and conscequently the gentle flow of blood through the thin veins.

Misono glanced up, his brow raised, completely unimpressed. "Don't play dumb with me. That idiot cat won't come within ten feet of you." When Mahiru remained silent, he continued. "He used to drape himself over you like an out of date smoking jacket. What's wrong?"

Twirling his fingers around each other, nervously, Mahiru rolled his shoulders in surrender. "What do you think?" He flicked his red gaze up to Misono and blinked. 

Misono, to his credit, did not flinch, but his eyes did narrow momentarily. "I would think he would be relieved."

This was a new take on it to Mahiru and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Why do you say that?" He refused to let his expression change when Misono touched a piece, peering over at him to see if he found it worrisome.

Scoffing, Misono finally pushed his knight forward. "Oh, please. Do you have any idea what kind of state that bastard would be in if you had died? The town would be destroyed, no doubt." He tapped his fingers against the table a moment and sat back, satisfied. "And I imagine-" he fixed Mahiru with a _look_ \- "it's because he's rather fond of you."

Mahiru waved a hand through the air in dismissal. "Of course he's _fond_ of me. It's been three years."

Misono rolled his eyes. "Not at all what I was referring to." 

"Then what did you mean?"

"Let's just leave it with this- I think it likely that Kuro feels responsible for you, in more than one way. No doubt he's feeling guilty for not protecting you."

"How long did Lily have to coach you to get that right?" Mahiru asked humorously, ignoring the glare he got in return. "Besides, I'm _fine_." He gestured down at himself. "Here I am, all limbs intact and breathing!"

Misono paused, staring at him as though he were an idiot. "I don't think they see it the same way we do, Mahiru."

* * *

"So, you're upset that I'm not human anymore?" 

After a dizzying amount of thought, Mahiru had decided that the simplest approach was best, and that meant cornering Kuro when he least expected it and just going straight for the kill, as it were. He had bided his time, pretending not to be upset every time Kuro flinched back from him, or turned away, and waited until after dinner. Kuro was sprawled across the couch with his usual lack luster enthusiasm and Mahiru had used the distraction of a new drama series to make two steaming mugs of hot chocolate. It was unlikely, but he hoped that the drink would prove a useful deterrent in Kuro claiming a busy schedule to go running off again.

Jumping at the question as though shocked, Kuro dropped the remote, his gaze, for the first time in days, meeting Mahiru's. "What?" His voice was rough and uneven, serving only further to remind Mahiru of how far apart they seemed to have fallen. "What did you say?"

"I said, so, are you upset that I'm not human anymore?" It took every ounce of self control in his body to keep a straight face, to keep any inflection or bias from his tone, when all he really wanted to do was curl up next to Kuro and beg him to tell him that it wasn't just that a possible eternity of Mahiru's company didn't sit so well with him.

"What do you want me to say?" 

Mahiru shrugged. "The truth." Setting down the two mugs, he perched gingerly on the edge of the cushion, as close to Kuro as he dared. Not only had their communication dropped to almost zero over the last week, but now Kuro seemed to have developed a distinct aversion to any and all forms of "nearness". It was made all the more grating to Mahiru's nerves given the new subtle smells he could pick up, one of which was a soft, almost pine like scent that seemed to come from Kuro. It was distracting and interesting and he found himself constantly fighting to keep from drifting closer to get more of it.

Kuro scoffed, the first sign of a real emotion that he had shown in ages and Mahiru almost smiled. "It's always so simple for you, isn't it?"

"What is?" Mahiru asked in surprise.

"Everything." His tone was bitter, but Mahiru could still just barely hear a sense of exhaustion dancing along the borders.

"Not everything." In disbelief, Kuro turned to him, mouth twitching to the side and this time Mahiru did smile. "In fact, most things are complicated. Which is why I choose to just go about it simply. The best way to deal with trouble is to face it head on, right?"

Instead of answering, Kuro shrugged, closing off as he looked away, his gaze skittering around the room and through the piles of magazines and comics and games he had amassed since his arrival in Mahiru's life. "I'm going to bed." He stood and without ever turning, walked swiftly down the small hall and to his room. 

When the sound of the door closing and the lock clicking echoed, impossibly loud, back to Mahiru, he reached out and picked up the far mug, the one with the little black cat on it. Leaning back, he took a tentative sip, willing the tears crowding his throat to stay hidden away.

* * *

On the bright side, Mahiru thought, as he slid down the wall, the pain this would have normally caused was seriously dampened by his new body. Looking up, shocked by the size of the dent in the siding that he had left behind, he blinked. Yup. It was kind of amazing. Not to say that it hurt _less_ , he amended, wincing when the man took another lunging grab for him and scraped back the skin along the length of his arm. It was more like his senses had been tuned and refined, allowing him to sort through and choose which sensations to focus on.

"Wish it came with some cheat codes, though." He muttered, throwing himself to the side just in time to avoid a steel tipped boot to the face. His reflexes may have improved a hundred fold, his speed and strength unparalleled to his former, his body resilient and healing almost from the second it was damaged, but that didn't mean he knew any better how to take advantage of any of that. His years of rigorous training and experience had transformed him into the very warrior that he had so desperately wanted to be, but that had been his human body. Now, finding his soul trapped within the murky wavering confines of this strange new territory, he couldn't seem to recall a single block or defensive move. "Fuck!"

The man, sensing his irritated distraction, had taken a running leap and thrown them both back, over the edge of the roof they had ended up on. As they tumbled through the air, Mahiru went for broke and spun himself, levering his leg out and praying it connected. When he felt a solid thump, he risked looking over his shoulder to see that he had in fact landed a hit and the man- the vampire- was now unconscious and angled away, falling farther out of reach each millisecond. Miraculously, he crashed through one of the large windows of the neighboring factory building and Mahiru sucked in a deep, relieved breath.

"Yes!" He shouted and then closed his eyes, praying, probably in vain, that the pain of breaking perhaps all the bones in his legs upon landing wouldn't put him into shock. He didn't really fancy passing out in the alley to be found by his new rogue vampire friend, or worse yet, happened upon by some poor, terrified mother walking home from the grocers.

"You're still a total moron." 

The voice hissing in his ear and the arms circled tightly around his waist were all achingly familiar and Mahiru's eyes flew back open to meet Kuro's, staring at him in mournful anger. Somehow somersaulting them gracefully in the last ten feet to the ground, Kuro landed lightly on his feet, Mahiru still clutched against his chest. 

"What were you thinking?" He demanded, seeming to forget, for the moment at least, that his strict rule of no touching was being blatantly neglected.

"Well, I was hoping that I wouldn't break _all_ my bones." Mahiru said cheerfully, trying desperately to keep himself from leaning into the soft cotton of Kuro's jacket.

Kuro sighed explosively, rolling his eyes heavenward as though seeking divine intervention. "I can't deal with you." He finally looked back down, gaze wandering gently over as much of Mahiru as he could see. "Are you ok?"

Overcome with joyful panic at the show of concern, what had once been so commonplace and was now unheard of, Mahiru could barely answer, the words tumbling from his mouth like warm stones. "Thanks, Kuro." He swallowed, and forced his lips into what could be described loosely as a smile. "How did you know where to find me?"

"Lucky guess." He muttered stiffly, remembering himself and stepping back, his arms falling coldly away from Mahiru's sides. He sighed, staring down at the ground where the first few drops of enterprising rain were beginning to fall. "Let's go. It's going to be a storm." Without waiting for an answer, he turned and walked jerkily away.

Mahiru couldn't help but notice that he was dragging his left foot just slightly and he was rushing to catch up, reaching out to grab a swatch of warm blue jacket and return the favor of inquiry, when at the last moment, just inches from the weaved cotton, his fingers froze and dropped. He stopped, standing still in the middle of the alley as he watched Kuro slowly disappearing into the increasing fall of water from the clouds. Looking up, he forced his eyes, red and inhumanly sharp, to remain open, even as the small chill drips landed against them. In the dropping temperature it was impossible to tell if it was his tears or just the rain that was tickling across his jaw and down his neck.

* * *

"What am I supposed to do?" Mahiru asked softly. He couldn't bring himself to turn from where he stood at the counter, though whether it was shame or fear or embarrassment that stilled him, he didn't know. As he waited for a response he reached over impatiently, flicking on the coffee pot and noting with hollow satisfaction that it was still set to strong, the smell of the boiling beans almost immediately filling the room.

"Why are you asking me?" Hyde tossed the remaining melted ice from his cup out the window next to the table. "Why don't you just tie him up until he talks to you?"

Shocked into forgetting his mortification, Mahiru glanced over his shoulder. "Are you kidding me? Sometimes I don't think you know Kuro at all."

Hyde shrugged, hands splayed and eyes wide in mock confusion. "What do you want from me? I'm supposed to be meeting Licht at the mall right now, you know." He peered crookedly over the rims of his glasses. "Do _you_ know Kuro?"

The question took him by surprise and Mahiru fumbled the whisk, splattering eggs across the counter top. "Of course I do!" He fell silent, worrying his lip, wincing when one of his fangs sank into the soft skin and a small splash of sweet blood landed on his tongue. 

Hyde laughed, crossing his legs and tipping back in the chair. "If you say so!" When Mahiru just continued to stare morosely down at the frothy bowl of eggs and milk in his hands, he groaned and stood. "Look. I know you've got this crazy obsession with being simple or whatever lame thing it is you're always yelling." He grinned when Mahiru turned to glare hotly at him and slapped a hand on his shoulder. "But sometimes you're terrible at taking your own advice! I can tell you the best way to talk to Licht, but Kuro, well, Mahiru, you're the expert." He paused, smirking pointedly. "Because you're the only one Kuro will let be the expert."

Mahiru didn't answer, instead pulling a spatula from the drawer and dipping it contemplatively into the egg bowl. Perhaps Hyde, although still almost unbearably annoying, was right. Maybe it really was that simple.

"These are my words of great wisdom for you." Hyde said, interrupting his thoughts and bowing lowly. "And with that I leave you to your newly eternal teenage angst!" Mahiru rounded on him in ire and he laughed uproariously, darting back. As he fled the room, he leaned back in through the door way just long enough to snag a handful of cookies from the jar on the far counter, and, shoving two in his mouth, winked. "Like I shed Mahroo, jush tahk to 'im. E'll lishen to yoo." Crumbs flew from his mouth and Mahiru unthinkingly whipped the spatula at his head. He ducked at the last second and his laughter bounced down the hall as he danced away, the utensil leaving a huge stain of yellow batter like goo dripping lazily down the wall.

* * *

Dinner was always quiet nowadays, something Mahiru had come to sullenly accept, so when Kuro scraped his spoon softly around his bowl and asked him what the splotch in the kitchen was, he choked on his water, spilling half of it down his shirt. Hacking into his hand, he turned away, aware that his face was most likely bright red. Kuro did nothing as he gasped and finally he cleared the burn in his sinuses. Sitting back, he still somehow managed to feel surprised when he was neither short of breath nor light headed. It must be true he didn't need to breath then, he thought numbly. Oh, sure, he'd tried going without several times when he was bored and on his own, but his instincts seemed to have survived along with his character and always around the two minute mark he panicked and sucked in a huge whooping breath ruining the experiment.

"What did you say?" He asked choppily, willing his voice to hold steady. 

"I asked you what met its end on the kitchen wall."

"Ah. I threw a spatula covered in eggs at Hyde."

"I see."

There was a short, palpable beat of quiet as they stared at each other and then, suddenly, they both broke down, laughing into their plates. Mahiru took the brief lull in tension to study Kuro across the table, who was still chuckling softly as shook his head. He looked the same. Technically he had looked the same for several centuries, but to Mahiru it was something to be taken note of day to day. Seeing that despite his newly altered state, and Kuro's less than stellar response to it, he was not fraying completely apart at the edges, was a relief. He looked more tired, perhaps a little disenchanted beyond his usual veneer of casual distaste at the state of existence, but it was nothing that some ramen and a movie couldn't fix. The dawning hope that perhaps this was something he could still salvage bubbled up viciously in his chest and before he could stop himself he had reached across the table and grabbed Kuro's wrist.

"Do you want to-"

Kuro jerked back, ripping his arm free, and fixed Mahiru with a look of revulsion. In the loud static silence that followed, Mahiru could tell that he was finally going to lose the battle with his tears and just a second before they spilled down his cheeks he smiled, a fleeting brittle thing.

"Sorry." Was all he got out before he felt his face grow warm and wet and he saw Kuro's eyes widen in a stunning mix of astonishment and dismay. "I think I'm going to go to bed." Amazingly, the flood waters did nothing to shake his voice and the words were stark and clear in the needle like atmosphere of the kitchen. "Good night."

Unconsciously, he poured on a bit of his fascinating new preternatural speed and was at the kitchen door before he even knew what he was planning. As he turned the corner, deciding to throw himself under his quilt and sob and ponder until he could dredge up and piece together a way to fix this, a long fingered hand curled over his tightly clenched one. Freezing up, too scared to pull away but unable to look, he simply stood, his back to the quivering mass of warm nerves that was Kuro behind him. That gentle pine smell came to him again and he almost screamed in frustration; he could count on one hand the number of times they had been this close since that day. It had just been two weeks ago but it felt like a torturous eternity, Mahiru thought dizzily, how could it have only been two weeks since-

He glanced wearily over his shoulder and met Kuro's steel gaze.

-since he'd died.

"Mahiru." 

His name on those lips was enough to pull a startled sob from his lungs and he felt his heartbeat, an inconsequential thing now, quicken, the unexpected sensation almost painful. Kuro reacted strangely, his brows pulling down, lips quirked in sardonic amusement, and he lifted his free hand slowly, so slowly to Mahiru's now heightened vision, and lightly touched the feather brown hair layered over his forehead.

"I'm sorry." He murmured, his fingers still resting between the strands. "I really am a monster."

The statement bounced around Mahiru's head, trying to find a definition, but it was to no avail and he frowned through his savagely drying tears. "What are you talking about?"

It was Kuro's turn to look confused, hand dropping to his side. "How could you even need to ask?" His voice broke in anguish, faltering back a step as though someone had struck him, and it was only surprise that kept Mahiru from reaching out frantically to pull him back in, closer. "Look what I've done to you."

Words failed Mahiru in his upset and so he only shook his head minutely, unable to believe what he was hearing.

"You're- you died." Kuro whispered haltingly. His hands came up to run through his hair in distress. "I couldn't even-"

"Hey, hey! Hold on just a second!" Mahiru exclaimed, finally finding his voice and lunging forward, digging his fingers aggressively, deeply, into Kuro's shirt in a mad attempt to keep him from running. "This isn't your fault! Kuro, what are you talking about?!"

Eyes flashing eerily in the dim evening lighting of the hallway, Kuro studied him solemnly. "Whose blood did you drink, Mahiru?" A tremor ran down Mahiru's spine and Kuro almost smirked. "And why did you drink it?"

"I-" Mahiru faltered, fear staining his hope a hazardous, familiar black, and ran his tongue across the two small teeth in his mouth that seemed to be the root of all this trouble and pain.

"That's what I thought."

The resignation in Kuro's voice broke the chains of dread tying him down and suddenly no worry or terror could be worse than the reality that Kuro thought he had somehow failed. "You're wrong." He said it too quietly, but was heard clearly all the same, both of them stilling as the street lights flickered on, bathing everything in a warm yellow. "It's my fault. Not yours. It's mine." He laughed brokenly. "It's my fault because- because I couldn't stand to lose you. I couldn't stand to think I'd never hear your voice again. That I'd never see y-you agai-" His tears had begun anew, pouring down his face in an unabashed flood. "I thought- that I couldn't leave you here alone. I thought that, all I wanted was to be with you." He reached out, running his trembling fingers over the thin, delicate skin of Kuro's neck in the place where just thirteen days ago he had ripped it open himself, and whispered what he'd been hiding. "So I took it from you."

In a fit of madness, Kuro threw back his head, the warm skin under Mahiru's touch pulling taut, and laughed. "You really think that?" He asked incredulously once he had managed a breath. "Are you shitting me?" Eyes wide, Mahiru started, staring up at him, perplexed. "Ah jeez, what a pain." Kuro sighed, running a hand over his face. "You really think you, laying there with a walnut sized hole through your puny chest and half your blood soaking the dirt, could in any way have _taken_ something from me?" His tone was dangerous and Mahiru had to stop himself from faltering back in a kind of instinctual fear. "Mahiru. I _gave_ it to you. I leaned over you like a weeping villain and pretended not to see my blood falling into your mouth. You were more than half gone, from the second you raised your arm and scratched me, I knew you were dead. I let it happen. I _did_ it."

Something equally dangerous was unfurling and spreading in Mahiru, something hot and white and sharp and beautiful and he couldn't help the wavering smile that tiptoed across his face. "You mean you wanted-"

"What I want and what's right is not the same." Kuro interrupted him. "You're- you were- You should have grown up." He paused, watching Mahiru with a kind of empathetic mourning and suddenly he looked all of his six hundred years, head bowed under the weight of such an endless journey. "You should have grown up and graduated college, gotten a job, married, traveled, grown old. And now all you have is this half life, this pathetic excuse for living and it's all because I let myself grow complacent. I took from you, exploited you beyond what you offered and in the end I couldn't even save you."

Latching onto the only thing he currently had a response for, Mahiru shook Kuro's shoulders roughly, heedless of his recently unfettered strength. "You didn't exploit me! I

wanted to help you!"

"You're still a child if you really believe that." He retorted, subtly rolling a shoulder and wincing. "You turned to me in desperation because-"

"Because you saved me! Of your own free will! You saved me and my friends lives! _You_ did that, Kuro, _you_!" Mahiru shouted. "It had nothing to do with blood or contracts! It was _you_." He paused, waiting warily to see if Kuro would deny it. "And that you is my best friend. Everything I've done is because I wanted to. Everything has been because it's what I wanted."

"And dying?" Kuro asked tartly. "Was that what you wanted too?"

"I don't know what might have happened." Mahiru said quietly, loosening his iron grip on Kuro's shoulders, wondering if he'd accidentally cracked any of the bones in his panic. "But that doesn't matter because we can't change the past." He ran his hands over the lapels of the now worn denim Kuro had first appeared in. "And all that does matter is what we do from here on. Maybe I made the wrong choice. But I would do it again." He heard Kuro's little intake of breath and closed his eyes, smiling sarcastically. "Go on, call me stupid, or a hot headed moron. Maybe I am. But I'm not a liar."

Like ash from an angry gods volcano, deadly quiet filled the cracks and spaces in the room as they stood, like statues, facing each other in dawning comprehension. The first to move and break the spell, Mahiru sighed and stepped back, hoping that his expression didn't belie his turmoil and fear and heart wrenching love.

"So please don't ever call yourself a monster. Because you're my hero."

As though he were about to fall to the ground, Kuro stumbled, staring at Mahiru like he'd never seen him before. "What did you say?" He whispered, a hand clenching so tightly in his shirt that the fabric began to stretch. 

Stony and unflinchingly, Mahiru raised his chin, meeting Kuro's horrified gaze. "I said you're my hero."

"That's what I thought you said." He sounded winded, as though he'd run a hundred miles, looking pale beneath the moon glow tan fanning across his face. "I can't handle this."

The old worry came digging back into his bones and Mahiru winced, looking away. "Do you not-" He hesitated, unsure if he wanted the answer, but the question had taken on a life of it's own, twisting and slithering in his stomach, eating his sleep and peace of mind, and he pushed on. "Do you not want to, I mean, not want me around that long?" He laughed stiltedly, realizing how awkward the question sounded when spoken aloud.

Kuro opened his mouth, looking shell shocked for a moment, and then closed it again, shaking his head. "I'm not dignifying that with an answer. Mahiru, listen to me." He stepped forward quickly, instantly destroying the boundless distance that had at some point stretched between them. "What matters is, regardless of anything else, I should have protected you. I wanted you to live."

"I am alive!" Mahiru protested, brows furrowed in outrage. "I'm right here!"

"You're a vampire." Kuro said flatly. 

"So are you!"

"Precisely." He enunciated each syllable as though speaking to someone hard of hearing, though they both knew Mahiru could now hear a pin drop across the room.

Frowning, Mahiru reached out, tugging on a lock of Kuro's forever unruly hair. "If you're implying that you yourself aren't alive, I find that very insulting. Not to mention you would be insinuating that I have made a mistake in judgement. To me you've never been anything but a very sturdy, very lazy guy who snuck his way into my house."

The crumbling, perpetual look of almost fearsome anguish that graced Kuro's delicate features suddenly began to transform, morphing into what a more distinguished member of society might call mortification, but to Mahiru just looked dumb and he couldn't stop the small chuckle that punched it's way out of his throat. Kuro shot him a sulky look, just further ruining his image and Mahiru covered his mouth, trying valiantly to muffle the full on laughter now leaking free.

"I'm sorry. I can't believe it, but I don't think I've ever seen you looking so embarrassed." He explained, smiling timidly. "Which is really saying something considering how long I've known you."

"I am a paragon of unflappable apathy." Kuro muttered distractedly, still staring at Mahiru with something akin to worry. "So you mean to tell me that you're fine with all this? Being murdered and turned into a vampire."

"I've been trying to tell you that from the beginning." Mahiru crossed his arms in annoyance. "But you seem to have trouble hearing over the sound of your own angst."

Kuro glowered at him, then frowned softly, his fingers digging and twisiting in the ruins of his shirt. "I'm sorry, Mahiru."

"Me too." He said kindly. "But I'm not sorry to still be here with you."

What looked like a gentle blush misted over Kuro's cheeks before he shook his head. "No, I mean I'm sorry that I- I let this happen and then just ran from you. I left you to figure all this out on your own, when I should have been here to-"

"Don't worry about it." Mahiru cut him off, holding up a hand. 

Kuro still looked unsure, the tendons of his fingers pulled tight against the creamy expanse of the backs of his hands; Mahiru couldn't seem to tear his gaze from them, wondering if his looked just as crystal perfect now too.

"I won't." Kuro said suddenly. "I won't let you suffer any more."

"So you'll help with the chores?" Mahiru asked brightly, smiling when Kuro blanched. "I'm just kidding. I know you can't be trusted to do the laundry." He made to turn, to wander back to the table, his hope that Kuro would follow an almost all encompassing fog, but stumbled when a hand tugged on his wrist, holding him back, and he glanced over his shoulder warily. "What is it?"

"How can you be real?"

He felt his brows raise in question, unsure how to interpret Kuro's words, and so settled for shrugging. "I don't think I'm all that special really."

"You're doing the impossible." Kuro insisted, leaning forward in earnest, his face open and wondering. 

Mahiru laughed. "It's not impossible. I think I just have a better incentive than most."

"And what's that?" Kuro was still staring at him, but now he looked almost hopeful, as if he were hoping for the chance to hope, and Mahiru felt that dangerous something, so solid and bright and distracting, respond in kind, unfurling and reaching out to wrap around the endless, terrifying entity that was Kuro's existence. As though feeling it, Kuro took a small, indecisive step toward him, his eyes locked on Mahiru's like he feared if in looking away he would disappear into the void.

"Don't you know by now?" Mahiru asked softly, smiling as he turned back. "I think I've made it pretty obvious."

"You know I'm not good with all these guessing games." Kuro muttered, taking a half step forward.

"It's because you're too lazy." Mahiru snuck one foot forward as well, shyly. 

"They're no fun." Kuro argued. Another step and he was almost directly in front of Mahiru, watching him cautiously from half lidded eyes.

"So only fun things keep your attention?" Mahiru said jokingly, reaching out and slowly sneaking his hand beneath Kuro's arm.

"Only things worth the effort." Kuro corrected, allowing his arm to be pulled up and almost wrapped around Mahiru.

"What kinds of things are worth the effort?" He took a final step forward, his other arm curling around Kuro's steady shoulders, the teasing touch of inhumanly soft hair tickling over his forearm.

"Don't you know by now?" Kuro echoed, his free hand coming to rest under Mahiru's chin and nudging his face up just a fraction. "I think I've made it pretty obvious."

"Just a bit." Mahiru conceded, raising up on his toes and bringing himself within reach, waiting.

The sudden, anticipated touch of Kuro's lips was like a jolt through his nerves and Mahiru almost gasped. Though he had thought that perhaps this was the course they had been set on, it was still a shock, something that he didn't think he could have expected even if he'd been warned. Unsure what to do, he remained still, allowing Kuro to slowly explore the fragile expanse of his lips in that gentle, probing way that only he seemed to possess. When he finally drew back, eyes clouded with both fear and a kind of deep ember passion, Mahiru smiled brightly, locking his fingers together behind his neck.

"Was that the answer to your puzzle?" Kuro asked quietly, tightening his arms around Mahiru's waist.

Pretending to think, Mahiru let his face pull into a faux pout, barely holding back a laugh when he noticed Kuro tracking the movement raptly. "Mmm, one of them, yes."

"And what are the others?" Kuro whispered, his breath ghosting across Mahiru's open mouth as he slowly drew back in as though pulled by a solid force.

"What if I made you guess?" Mahiru murmured, the movement brushing the sensitive skin of their lips together, mingling the colors of their shared essences.

"I suppose for you I'd be willing to try." Kuro fell forward, letting that blatant power that Mahiru had always sensed in him flow freely, pulling Mahiru's feet free of the floor and crushing the air from his lungs; if he'd wanted to, he wouldn't have had the ability to complain.

When he was allowed to fall back to the floor, his legs steady only though instinct, he sucked in a heady breath, rejoicing in that spicy sweet scent, now, finally, near enough for him to really experience. "Should I feel honored by your offer?" He asked mischievously. "You don't know what kind of guesses you'll have to make."

Kuro sighed, resting his chin on the top of Mahiru's head. "That sounds like a lot of trouble."

"Yes, it does." He agreed sagely, grinning. "But I have complete faith in you."

For the barest moment, Kuro froze, his back tensing under Mahiru's palms, but after a few frantic heart beats he relaxed and slid back a step, keeping a hand on Mahiru's forearm. "Don't you always." Their fingers soft around each other as he twined them together, he pulled Mahiru out and away from the dark kitchen, leaving the coffee pot to blink its soft red light into the approaching night.


End file.
